The Uninviting Guest

She uninvited me
to my parent's home
One year ago
when the phone
rang

I sit here
thinking about
the pain and hurt
even the tiniest thought
of it
provides me

She hates me
I think
She wants to hurt me
I think
Have I offended
I worry
Did I deserve it
I fear

Mother says
it was mean
Dad keeps quiet
I rack my brain
trying to think
what I did
to feel this hurt

A year
ago
Yet today
I sit
And a year
ago is a long time

Looking inside
I see my library
waiting
and I ask myself
what book shall I choose
today?
Pain and Hurt?
Hatred?
Fear?

I leave those books
on the shelf
and go outside
as I look in

I go to the stream
as Ananda did
in the years
of Buddha

I gaze
I watch
The dust settles
and the stream
is clear.

I sit beside
my mind

A year ago
is dead to me
and I hold a hurt
that has no merit
for I look for
something in another
that I must find
yet again
in myself.

Today the Uninviting Guest
becomes a precious jewel
Would I make of
a blessed soul, a monster?
Then I disillusion myself
Perhaps she is laughing
and giving love
at this very moment
To someone.
And she has given me
a blessed gift
a precious lesson.

All is within
this moment
now

Find the center
and calmness
and where I am uninvited
is only as lonely
as the Mind.
My Heart
is open
and full.

This I have learned.