motive

to find the answer to life

choose a book
any book
and make of it what you will

will you use the book
to be right?
to prove your worthiness?
to be seen by others as blessed?
to keep out of trouble?
to blend?

or will you use the book
to understand others?
to know them?
to be compassionate?

if you seek the latter list
then you are on the path
to life's answer
and you need
no book

arising from the tomb

this morning I awoke as if arising from the tomb
my heavy burden of four purgatorial years had lifted
because did something i did not do four years ago
i voted for an American hero.
and I learned.

i awoke to a country divided but with some states firmly decided
on their future and their wishes
though they were not the same as mine.

but I learned.
the poor western states' red this morning
reminded me of the ever hungry fire dragon
that might consume the weak.

i learned those states were strong in their resolve
who was I to tell them how to solve
their problems?
i do not awake this morning
with the same problems as they

i learned the poor but moral have had their day
and if the day comes that they grow poorer
who am i to say what burden they cannot bear?
they know what is in their best interests
i do not, for i am no longer poor

i learned poor but moral parents
have put their trust in the incumbent,
who am i to educate on what is best for them?
if it be their child who is left behind
i have neither say nor responsibili-tay
for i have no child

i learned they are ready for their children
to take up arms instead of books
and if their sons cannot afford college or avoid the draft
who am i to say how their child should live or die?
for i am not a parent.

i learned somethings from the southeastern retired
for their states this morning where red like fire
as was the white-haired south desert crew's.
who am i to tell them what to do?
for i am not yet old.

when the incumbent's plan ends up a fake
and they realize what burden it will make
i must believe that they did see
it was euthanasia via apathy.
i will step back for it is not my place
to choose with what comforts they pass on
or that they die with grace.
for i am not yet dying.

i learned from the bible belt that came through loud and clearly
and took up issues for their god sincerely.
to the moral majority, i must bow my head
who am i to tell them whom to love or to wish dead.
for i do not worship in such a ...fashion.

today.

i awoke as if from the tomb
the gloom of last night gone
the sun upon my face washing me free
of disgrace
my heart is light with my limited understanding

i did what i could.
i accept what i have learned.

in a peculiar way i feel like Pontious Pilate
washing my hands free of the sin
even as the poor, the old,and the moral selfrighteous
send their christs to die again,and again,
and again.

it is their right.
we all have but one vote.

i have washed myself free from blame
i made my stand and am reborn again
the burden is now in their red hands.

this for certain

I could move to someplace new
and be happy for a time
until my mind wrapped around something
upon which to place
all my pain, shame, guilt, and blame.

Better to stand here
in the desert of despair
and look within
to my barbwired heart
beyond the barbwire
to the fiery red dragon
that feasts upon
every morsel of complaint

Tame the dragon
with tears of compassion
and everywhere
my feet may pass
shall be eternal bliss

Speak, Sit, Beg

Bow--bow
Bowsy--wow--wow

he speaks his "mind"
yeah his unkind timber mind
he says "got wood?"
well some mamas might need pine

He thinks
Questions stink
but has a few of his own
gotten from Rove on loan like--
If a soldier drops in the desert
and no media is there to hear

Ruff -- Ruff

struts like a proud peacock
eye's a blinking like he's been shocked
brick brains, insane--dont care about
blood stains
while a brother's life
drains out
in Iraq

he snorts and jeers
but he don't care for the mamas' tears
he likes to laugh
when other mamas ask "draft?"

Bow wow. Now.

Rotten puppy sitting
Wilder puppy thinking
he's outwitting
but only a few
thick as brick too
that's the clue

Hieee hieee woof woof
arr arr arrrooo

tv media beg - begs
on hind legs for treat - treats
Fox grabs the bags and the gloves
gets the shovel
while they shove
begging for the inside scoop
here's a poop scooper

feed your dog
he's growling--
making a show

24--7
grrrrrr

a hard harsh day's beating down

if in the cold darkness
of night's
fallen snow
there breathed
upon the stillness
a fog of warmth
would that this could
reach the cold chill
of a hard
harsh day's
beating down
on desert sand

could i pass it to you
this warmth
of the heart
not of the heel
melting like tar
and the cool
of snow
twiced blessed
with soothing

may love warm
your cold fingers
brother
may the snow
come down
to preserve
your beauty
that desert heat
would claim

as times pass
beloved brother
i send you
cold snows
and warm love
with stateside letters
you have not answered.

at your end
is stillness
at mine
a peculiar
painful twist
the warmth
of my tears
and eventually
the cold
for my heart

it's out there

I said it
it's out there

that dang thing i said
out there
echo'in like a
yoddle de doh
back at me

doh
so stupid
what i said
it'll give me the vapors
just thinkin at it
like that
over and over
still be there
come tomorrow morning
maybe even
in the papers

dang nabbit!
just look'in at it
gives me hives
see it?
over on that tree?
in that dark forest
over there?
wait'in
danc'in
be'in free

outa my mouth
ah! what the hell was
I think'in
now I'm stuck
like a moron
with an empty mouth
and head full of woe

The Minimum

I wanna be maximum
U
Do gooder true
Gotta go -but
ya gonna gimme it
'cause it's due

Yah switch the bate
depreciate the rate
who you try'in to hate
fix'in the fate
faker

plucking the song
strumming it long

but it's all wrong

way wrong

trouper scooper

doopity looper

Hey!
I wanna be maxi-mum

who ya gotta yell at
who ya gotta fight
U so uptight
wound like a scary cat
crazy as a bat
tit for tat

kizzzz it
maxi

mum
mum's the word

word

Bubbles the Buddha

Bubbles laughs a lot
about the sky and trees
and the beetle on her shoe
sometimes even spiders
amuse her

She shakes her head
and the sky and trees
become really bright
and almost transluscent
as she gazes

She's so cool!!!
She steps back
and takes my hand
She shows me how
to laugh for real

The best gift ever
She's a walking buddha

At the Time In Between

being of German descent I warn myself daily
that there is a "little hitler" in most
therefore-
I must never be ruled by shame or anger
I must never be swayed by the vengeful
I must never place blame upon an innocent
or deny another justice out of spite
I am constant, vigilant to the oath

on that note--
last night the men
in blue-tailored suits
and rudy-faced defiance
looked and sounded like
Post WWI / Pre WWII Germany
and this troubles me
deeply

This time In Between

I dont know why
they should act so
I am afraid
of what they are shouting at
what they are defying
and redefining
and why

Oops! squishy brains

so embarrassing

i forgot
some people think
where i walk

brains
B-tween my
toes
squishy

oops

Yellow Jacket

Yellow Jacket
Jerk

Do'in the diddlie squa-
t' on my
Brain

Yellow Jacket
Jerk

Blue tie
die
Look'in pale
Squatter


...Huh


Gum the
vaseline
line

Yellow Jacket
Jerk

In the Early Gray

Like a smudge against
what once was
black and white
pain of the pen upon the joint
the gray appears

A watery splotch
with lines of feathered clumsy
the appearance of the gray
upon what was once
black and white

perfectly good
perfectly bad
perfectly simple
no more

now to the joint
down to the knuckle
my lips
apian in reflexive motion
stop the ink
as it trails
but a line of bitter

not good--not bad
those goneby now
pained confusion
yeilds to the humm
restless new places
more attention given
where manifests the gray